User blog:Bittersweettragedy/Not Working
This is me, all ready since a ton of emotions all bubbling up inside my body, the fiery passion of love, the battle outcry of loss, the feel of being alone, the feeling of as if everyone is listening for you to make a mistake, yet nobody is listening when you succeed. It's those feelings that take up most of my writing because if I feel an emotion, it's as if my brain triggers a way to vent out every ounce of emotion that I can't speak about boldly. It's that time now where I have so many emotions all churning up at once........and I can't write anything. Planning to sit down and write a collection of poems of all I feel and it's almost as if I am limited to writing what I actually feel then showing it through poetry. It's like I'm missing something I have always used to vent out my feelings. Maybe I am super emotional, maybe I just recognize my feelings easier then most people. So, instead of these poems I write that some of you guys like, you get a big blog post of how I feel....fun. Where do I start? -Accomplishment -Anxiety -Loneliness -Loss Loneliness-I enjoy every ounce of your love, I genuinely do but the feeling of loneliness sometimes seems to creep up on you when you least expect it. I can't help how it sneaks up on me like a snake. It's not the best feeling in the world, it's not the worst, but I can tell you I can feel it. It's as if you shout a billion times for somebody to hear and you feel like such few can actually understand how you feel. It's not as if you mean to reject, it's as if your mind connects to your heart and all it tells you is what you feel deep down inside and ignores what the world is around you. As said in the song "The Lonely", can the lonely take the place of you? Its a feeling that only the lonely can take up. Anxiety-Algebra. My math teacher somehow doesn't get the point of he's not teaching us the problems on our homework. He will tell us some actually educational material and then he'll give us homework on something we haven't learned. Now, tomorrow I have a test on this unit and it's not the most pleasant thought in the world for someone to take most of your life and placing you smack dab in your house all day doing homework. It's not fun all weekend to stay in your house and do homework. It's hard to do anything outside life except studying and homework. Expecting us to get an A on something he hasn't taught us is ridiculous. Accomplishment-I actually felt like I am doing well. After all these years, I have had 1 B. But this of course, is to be handed over to my math teacher. He did not fix the grade and gave me a B. It was only 5 points off, but if you calculate the new score into an 89.7 grade point average, what should I have gotten? An A. So, that said, I do feel accomplished that I got all As 2nd quarter. It feels really good to feel so accomplished. Like you reached the top of a mountain or something. Not quite that accomplished, but you know what I mean. :P Loss-This one is the main one at the moment. It's as if you want something and it won't come and find it's way. It's so hard when everyone else's main problems include and makeup and homework. I'm sorry, but I wish my problems were as small as yours. I mean, it's great you take care of your life that way but I don't experience that most of the time. The way it feels when everybody has a crush on somebody else and you don't because you don't want to experience the pain time and time again. It feels as if a rock has come and crushed your soul into a million different pieces and it feels as if only you can decide what to make of it. Category:Blog posts